Black Walnut Season.....

It is black walnut season - where a large 40 foot tree in the front yard and an additional 40 foot tree in the backyard drop copious amounts of dark brown ink balls (i.e.walnuts) for 2 or 3 months.  It is a game to stand outside in the yard to see how long you can stand in one place without being beaned on the head with a walnut - and near misses count :-) They fall day and night about every 5 minutes or so.   I warn everyone who stops in my front yard for any reason - watch out for the walnut tree - you are mere target practice.... :-)  You'll be lying in bed and hear a cracking sound as a walnut hits the roof - you'll look over at the clock and notice it says 2:40 AM -  and then you'll drift off only to be startled awake by another sound disconcertingly close to a gunshot - alas - another walnut hitting the roof tiles - you blearily glance over at the clock - 3:04 AM..... Whatever a walnut lands on - whether the sidewalk, your hair, clothing, small children.... it leaves its mark of existence as a dark brown permanent smear.  The best thing about the walnuts is that thousands of them fall and create a large field of big brown ball bearings - that when you attempt to walk across the lawn - they lower your friction with the ground - and decrease stability in general.  These walnut trees are also headquarters for the Pleasanton squirrel mafia - and not only are you target practice for the tree - it is a rite of initiation for a squirrel to bean a person with a walnut - they are much more accurate and deliberate than the tree is - they take great pleasure in running across the branch directly over your head - in order to ensure  a several-walnut-spread so as not to miss you.  These gifts of nature - the black walnut - these little packages of anti-parasitic, antibacterial, antiviral powerhouses - are packaged in a shell so thick, you have to crack them with a hammer - and then you need an awl to remove what teeny bit of nut meat is available - there is a reason you don't see 'black walnuts' in the grocery store.... and it gets even better - black walnut trees have a chemical in their roots that kills other vegetation - I'm sure so as to not engender competition on the forest floor... but leaves quite a challenge for, say, growing a lawn... or heaven forbid...flowers....  I am comforted to know however, that in an emergency, no one in the neighborhood would ever get parasites....